Just arrived in my email- FROM ALEC
---
This here is the hole where I will be playing
It coudln't get any numb-er, please don't get the phone
That's my ex-wife so let it ring a long, long, long, long time
If I dont pick up, she'll hang up, call back, so let it ring some more
If I can't get it up, get it up. The insidewinder needs, needs, some more oil.
(chorus)
Call me when you try to wake it up, call me when you try to wake it up
Call me when you try to wake it up, call me when you try to wake it up
Call me when you try to wake it up, call me when you try to wake it up
There are scratches all around the love slot
Like an oily Alec, baby, trying to wake up,
But my machine can only swallow
You cant lay your juice on my patch, no matter how sublime
The safety word's "melon" so chew on this lime
I'll tell you,
Tell you, you can lick my ass, then laugh and say that you were only kidding
That way I'll know that its really, really, really, really you, you
Baby, hetero filth doesnt really grab me
Today I need something more sub-sub-sub-substantial
A pair of jeans or the blackeyed peas, some sex in cafes would be nice,
An iron bar, a fading star, or a reaming from doctor seuss
The cat in the hat came on my back, wrecked a lot of havoc on the way down,
Always had a smile and a reason to pretend
But my brain has flat backgrounds and little need to sleep but to dream
I got you on your back
Call me when you try to wake it up, call me when you try to wake it up
Call me when you try to wake it up, call me when you try to wake it up
I can always freak standing up, call me when you try to wake it up
Call me when you try to wake it up, call me when you try to wake it up
Call me when you try to wake it up, call me when you try to wake it up
I can always freak standing up, call me when you try to wake it up
Call me when you try to wake it up, call me when you try to wake it up
I can always freak standing up, call me when you try to wake it up
I can always freak standing up, call me when you try to wake it up
Weve got to boogie, boogie, move on this one
5 comments:
Not from me, baby.
Nigerian spammer.
And why do you mock me by using a more youthful-looking picture of me?
I know I've become a doughy leviathan, but I don't need reminding.
p.s. Where'd you put the Little Debbie brownies?
Oh my god! Just checked the email address.... smokey_and_the_bandit@hotmail.com!
Holy cripes, do ya think????
I think it's definitely Burt, although keep in mind that he takes him THREE weeks to send one email and FIVE months to make his way into a chatroom because he's using a Radioshack/Tandy computer from the frickin' Stone Age.
This thing uses punchcards and coal to run, I kid you not.
Just received this--
"Prepare for my coming.
When you see the light shine through your whiskey sour, lift up your eyes
and look to the north.
You will see my coming from on high from the west-wind.
----
Feelin' you up at that baby shower
Let me love ya with sauce and dour
women, truly deeply madly, always deliver like a saucy mail-man.
Lick my stamp and put on the blue lamp. I'll clamp you in to the lovin' experience, don't wince,
my member won't hurt cause I'm just a lovely flirt. I'm just BURT.
That's right I'm just BURT.
I need to iron that shirt.
Pull out the ironing board
Freak me sweet baby I've scored
SYPH-I-LIS misty honey
That leakage ain't funny...
Ah freak this baby, no no no
not like that.. oh god no...
ah baby get up... get up baby!
get up!! get off!! leave..
go on.. just ah god.. just leave..."
oh and the Little Debbie brownies are in the cistern- long story. Just give em a good rinse first.
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