Jeff's Travels Around the World Part 2

Hey there! Jeff Goldblum back like a jive-talking monkey President towering over his opposition with omnipotent virility and casual suggestion. I am of course here to detail Part 2 in my recent travels around this beautiful globe of ours. Yesterday we discovered that

• Alec Baldwin is a CAD.
• He still can't make love to an adequate, human standard.
  
• He weeps regularly with geriatric sit-coms in the background.
  
• Jeff Goldblum is still a sensual dynamo.

Today I will detail what happened when we took Blumboy #1 over to China in an effort to ease tension on the hot-potato of what I like to call,



-------
"You've got the brain of a four-year old boy
and I TI-BET he was glad to get rid of it."

------Our mission was clear: to have a rocking good time while trying to resolve all of the problems that all these silly monks have. Me and Alec decided on a three point-plan, true Alec showed no ability for intelligible content, he did make the most stunning cocktails.
Sipping on a Bloody Mary and listening to Alec's second rendition of "Scat-man", I wrote them down in my beautiful scrawl. They went as follows--

1. Find a monk.
2. Make the monk watch a 10 minute overview of my career.
3. Repeat.

It took us several hours to actually locate a monk. There were many false alarms (and kidnappings) involving women. These were easily placated by Visions of Jeff.
When we did eventually find a monk, it went pretty smoothly.
The language barrier wasn't a problem as we spoke the Universal Language of Love.
After several viewings of my collected career he spoke these simple words in broken English-- no doubt picked up by my spellbinding diction-- "I want thank Jeff Goldblum for being awesome and curing my angry feelings of non-peace".

His name was Jim and he went on to invent the peace that all those crazy Tibetan people enjoy.

Me and Alec packed up our things, got on Blumboy#1 and went on to our next location.

Join me next time as we examine the mystic pyramids of Egypt!